Determination. Oh, how I would have written drastically different words about this term if I had written this at the beginning of 2020…
So, let’s talk about ‘determination’ as January-2020-Karoline would have talked about the word. At the beginning of the year, and even before that, I would have told you that ‘determination’ means:
To go in spite of.
To never back down.
To never admit defeat.
To use grit.
To defy the odds.
To push beyond your limits.
I would have told you some grandiose, hard, masculine, and externally focused version of the word. Is there anything wrong with this version of ‘determination’? Absolutely not. This version suits some people. This version of ‘determination’ is exactly what some people need in this season of their life.
However, this version is not the one December-2020-Karoline is entertaining.
Determination, in this season of my life, looks much different than it used to. My old definition and understanding of the word came from a stubborn, bull-headed, externally driven, and fixed version of myself (if you couldn’t already tell…). That definition came from a version of Karoline that was resistant to honoring her evolution, and lived by a phrase known as “my way or the highway,” regardless of how it felt to her insides.
So… how did the term ‘determination’ evolve and what does it mean to me now??
Determination evolved when I discovered there is more to Karoline than I admittedly understood. Like many people over the course of 2020, I discovered a lot about myself. I learned that I am a much more dynamic being than I let on… I think we all are. The deeper and truest side of Karoline is intuitively guided and yearns for connection, not accolation. When I started to discover my own inner workings, I realized how contradictory they were to my external actions. Moving through this existential crisis of sorts, resulted in my understanding of life and its various components to expand, and the term determination being one of them.
Now, what does determination look like to me, today? The term itself still holds resolute. I still consider determination to have an unwavering air about it; however, the term has shifted to an internal focus. Determination, to me, means to live on purpose… to live according to MY purpose. Not the one others tell me to live by. It means to be ruthless for my own well-being. Today, a determined Karoline will do whatever it takes to act based on her internal knowing system. She is less externally motivated, and lives to connect. Determination looks like taking the walk rather than the run because I am determined to honor my body’s needs. Determination looks like waking up early to pursue the purpose-driven life rather than the material-focused one. Determination looks like meditation to quiet the mind rather than manipulate it. Determination means standing firm in what I know to be true rather than forcing what I want to be true. Determination means moving with the evolving seasons of life rather than pushing against them.
Determination is still a term of strength, just with less hardass-like tendencies.
Being ruthless for your own well-being.
Standing firm in your power.
Moving rather than forcing.
Tapping in, not tuning out.
One foot in front of the other.
Going within even when it hurts.
December-2020-Karoline is DETERMINED to know herself, love herself, and listen to herself a little more every day. She is determined to honor the internal evolution that she will experience in this life.
I encourage you to reflect on what this word means to you. Whether you resonate with my definition or not, find the one that feels good to you, and allow it to evolve with each season you pass through in this life.
With all my love,
Karoline Elizabeth Wiens wears many hats. After graduating from a Liberal Arts college in Kansas City, Missouri with her Bachelors of Science in Business Administration, she stepped into the “real world” on fire for life. She followed one of her many internal tugs early in college when she switched from a Pre-Medicine degree to Business and Leadership, where she quickly locked arms with two of Kansas City’s most esteemed wedding planners at Events by Elle. Alongside her endeavors as a luxury event and wedding planner, she teaches group fitness at a local barre, yoga and fitness studio, as well as dance at a local dance studio. Her “teaching hat” allows her to feed her soul’s mission of empowering people to live according to their own unique and divine calling, by “yelling at them with love” to get one more burpee in. Her last, but probably not her final, hat is that of a holistic wellness coach and consultant with a global brand called Arbonne International. Karoline has found peace and purpose in helping people find their power through their emotional, mental, physical and spiritual health. She lives by her hashtag “inspire through intentionality” and continues to seek ways of fostering communities by unveiling our human commonalities.