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12/2/2020

WEEK 48: MY TRUTH by STEVE HADDOCK

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Truth: a fact or belief that is accepted as true
 
My parents taught my sisters and I at a very young age, the importance of always speaking the truth.  They shared with us that living truth is one of the most important traits of a person, as it speaks to their character and integrity.  Truth is a trait that doesn’t require any super powers, it’s a universal characteristic understood by everyone, no matter what language you speak, the country you live in, your age, your gender, or IQ.  Truth does not discriminate. 
 
Last week was the 28th anniversary of my mother’s death.  I was 17 years old and my sisters were 12 and 16, and this was the day we started our journey with truth. 
 
Our mother was murdered in the confines of our very own home, while we were at school.  My sisters got off the bus that afternoon to find our mother bludgeoned to death in our garage.  We were united with our father, where we tried to find the truth with limited facts and the realization of what just happened.  Seven days later after losing our mother, our father was arrested for the murder of our mother.
 
Over the next 22 years, my siblings and I fought in faith with our father for the truth to prevail and for his innocence to shine through.  This included three different courthouses, 5 prisons, 2 parole hearings, newspapers, tv interviews, and countless attorneys, including the famous Barry Scheck and his innocence foundation.  Our belief and faith in our father had us fighting for the truth to prove his innocence.  We clung with all our energy and might for the truth to prevail.
 
Our dad has since been released on parole for the past six years. He was greeted by all his children with all the love and support (emotional, practical, financial, etc) we had to give and did so with joyous hearts. He quickly returned to the same man that he was before, one focused on work, money, superficial trappings. As our disappointment grew from all his broken promises and his own complicated and flawed humanity, we began to question all the truths we had believed and fought so hard for nearly three decades. In the end, the acts as we knew them and the truth we so desperately fought to believe came crashing down as doubt, deceit, untruths, broken trust, and ultimately, broken relationships.
 
Today he is a very small part of my life and has been completely eliminated by my sisters, as we have come to grips that our TRUTH has changed and the facts of that November day will likely never be known to us while on earth. Now as I ponder the definition of truth, I see the meaning completely anew.  While the one thing I seek more than anything in this world is confirmation of what really happened on November 20th, 1992.  But in our heart of hearts we have come to grips with the fact that life can and must continue with joy, even without the truth in hand.
 
Through this tragic experience, I have learned there never is just one truth. We all share truth and any given situation is complicated by multiple truths.  Striving, reaching, praying, being held accountable, teaching, understanding, listening, and being compassionate to truth is a long and arduous journey and not without pain, but there is freedom in truth and that is my hope for all of you.
 
This is my truth.
 
Steve Haddock is the father of 3 amazing boys and married to his beautiful wife, Brooke Roberts Haddock.  We love everything about living in Colorado with the mountains, the rivers, the wildlife, and our 24 family members living in the same city.  Steve is the VP of Sales for a software company in Denver.

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11 Comments
Julie Brittain
12/2/2020 06:43:11 pm

Wonderfully written!!! Thank you!

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Steve Haddock
12/2/2020 08:54:58 pm

Thanks Julie. Appreciate the opportunity to harness my thoughts and to share my truth. Spending this quiet time to write has helped bring some needed clarity for myself. I hope this experience and my story might help others out there that are searching for their truth.

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Brooke Haddock
12/3/2020 11:50:21 am

My husband is an amazing man, husband, and father by any standard. When I stop and really think about what his life has experienced, seen, felt, I am blown away. Through him I am better at practicing gratitude, enjoying the little stuff, and embracing each day. I hope for any reader of this essay you find some nugget that will help you in your journey.
Xoxo, Brooke

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Julie Roberts
12/3/2020 12:25:55 pm

Thank you for sharing your truth Steve! Your story is motivating to me in that I have a number of truths to unpack. XO

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Jenny Dixon
12/3/2020 02:55:10 pm

This is my amazing big brother that has worn many hats in my life. He is the rock of our family, the protector, the father figure when he was just a kid himself, the one that taught me to drive, the man that walked me down the aisle and one of my best friends. The one truth that I am absolutely certain of, is that I am so grateful to have been blessed with the most incredible siblings. No matter the challenges we have faced, we have always had each other’s backs.

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Abby
12/4/2020 07:36:39 pm

Steve, you continue to amaze me. You're an amazing man, friend, husband to my soul sister and father to your 3 boys. I'm lucky to know you and call you a friend. Thank you for sharing your truth.

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Nikki Braam
12/7/2020 05:16:40 am

Steve is more than my friend, he is my family! I met Steve during a time when he was faced with another challenge. What stood out to me most about him was his ability to continue to live his life to the fullest. In spite of all his hardships, he chose a life of happiness, gratitude, health, and generosity. He's a man that I hold in high regard and I am blessed to have him (and his family) in my life. Much love to you Steve, Nikki

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Vincent Guajardo
12/7/2020 10:09:53 am

I’ve had the pleasure of knowing Steve and his sisters for about 20 years now. They are an awesome family and individually so strong. I will never forget their story. We all have a story and a past but the way they overcame so much at such a young age is truly remarkable. I admire Steve’s ability to push past the trauma and hurt in his life and still help raise his sisters and become a successful man. I also admire his passion to be such an amazing husband, father, brother, and friend. Thank you Steve for writing this and sharing this with everyone. And thank you for your truth! You truly inspire me brother!

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Lisa and Josh Kirschbaum
12/13/2020 08:00:20 am

Steve and Brooke are more than friends - they are family. Steve is a shining example of how to turn past pain into future strength. From our view, the TRUTH is that Steve is an exceptional dad, husband, brother, and friend. For the Kirschbaum family, it all started in Indiana, but from here on out, whenever the Kir-docks are together, that’s our home. We love you Brooke and Steve - ain’t that the truth!

Love Always, Lisa and Josh

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Sandy Smith
12/13/2020 12:08:29 pm

I’m so glad Abby shared this with me. Steve, my heart goes out to you and your family. Brooke and your boys are so blessed to have you for a husband and dad, making sure their memories are positive ones. I’m amazed at how you have moved on from your past. Blessings to you and Brooke and your family.

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Chris
12/13/2020 12:40:07 pm

Steve this is so beautifully written! My life has been enriched just by your passing through our family. You are all in our thoughts and prayers as you continue to navigate this truth. May God bless you and your family.

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